


First Day of My Life

by areyoureddiespaghetti



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: 1992, Beverly Marsh is a Good Friend, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Losers Club (IT) Friendship, M/M, Reddie, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Sonia Kaspbrak's A+ Parenting, also small caps are intended, benverly - Freeform, i’ll add warnings if there are any in specific chapters, riche is new in Derry, stanley and bill are in love, tHANK U
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-01-17 13:20:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21268349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areyoureddiespaghetti/pseuds/areyoureddiespaghetti
Summary: 3 years after the tragic events of pennywise and the six losers, a new kid moves to derry with his parents. his name is richie tozier and all the losers come to love him over the summer of 1990.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 8
Kudos: 48





	1. I Must Belong Somewhere

**Author's Note:**

> helloooooo!!  
this is my first story so i hope you enjoy it... i’m also sorry if there are mistakes or anything you may not enjoy
> 
> there are no particular warnings that apply to this chapter 
> 
> come hang out on tumblr:  
areyareddiespaghetti

On the last day of school in 1992 a group of four boys who called themselves the Losers were throwing their schoolbooks in the bins outside Derry High. Later they were going to meet another member of their group, Mike Hanlon by the quarry, as they always did on the last day of school. Beverly Marsh, who moved away a few years ago was coming back for summer holidays and the Losers were already planning a party so they would have to stop by the store on their way home.

“This is still the best feeling in the world” Stanley Uris commented as they were emptying their book bags. Soon they were at the pharmacy where Eddie Kaspbrak had to pick up a refill for his inhaler, which he still carried around even though he knew it was a placebo (or gazebo as he called it). “Old habits die hard, right?” was all he had to say when his friend questioned him about it.

After Eddie got his refill they headed to the quarry where Mike was already waiting with his bike and his comic books.

“Hey guys!” he flashed his bright smile. They jumped in the water and swam around, looking for turtles for a while until Eddie got bit by a fish and ran out the water.

When they were all dried up they went to the local store to pick up a banner and some chocolate cake. The party was taking place at Bill Denbrough’s house, since his parents were out of town.

“SURPRISE” they all yelled when Beverly walked through the front door. They ate the cake and danced around to the sound of Queen for a while, until they all headed home (except for Beverly, who was staying at Bill’s for the summer). They were having a sleepover later in the night so it wouldn’t be that much time before they saw each other again. 

……………………………………….

Stanley was doing schoolwork when someone knocked on his door. He uttered a small ‘come in’ he wished he hadn’t.

It was Bill. Just Bill. By himself.

“What do you want?” he stared coldly at the brunette, remembering he was supposed to be mad at him over a stupid argument they had days ago.

“Well Beverly went to Ben’s house and isn’t coming back until the sleepover” he blushed a bit and Stanley wondered if it was because he liked Beverly the same way Ben did or if it was something else “and I was bored so I came to hang out with you. I mean I can leave if you have work to do-” 

“No, no, no it’s just Mrs Crick’s stupid assignment, it’s not important” he smiled at Bill. Lord knows he couldn’t stay mad at him for long.

“Oh, alright then” Bill smiled back.

“Soooooo” Bill dragged on the word “any ladies you want to tell me about?” Stan rolled his eyes at this. _Not a lady Bill why can’t you tell it’s you _he thought to himself.

“No, nobody new” Stan smiled and asked the dreaded question “how about you?”

“Well I do have someone in mind” _Beverly _Stan thought “not really a lady though” _what? Did I hear that right? He has a crush on a…. boy? _

“Well who is it?” Stanley was curious who his competition was now.

“You have to promise me you will not get mad okay?” Bill was pulling on the hem of his shirt in a panicked kind of way.

“Of course I won’t” Stanley promised him with a reassuring look.

“It’s… you”

……………………………………….

Beverly and Ben returned to Bill’s house a bit early and found the door locked. Thankfully Beverly had keys but it was still strange.

“Didn’t Bill say he was going to stay here?” Ben asked.

“He’s probably just hanging out with Eddie” Beverly plopped down on the couch and patted the spot next to her so Ben would join her.

“Those two seem to hang out a lot, no?”

“If you think they’re like a thing I wouldn’t be so sure. Bill is like totally whipped for Stan” Beverly quickly corrected her boyfriend.

“Why doesn’t he just tell him then?”

“Not everyone is a poet my dear Ben” she put her hand on his own “but I think he’ll have to tell him sooner or later”

……………………………………….

“Me?” Stanley exclaimed. He was feeling a whole mixture of emotions, the main one being confusion.

“Yeah, listen I really don’t care if you don’t like me back I just… can we please stay friends?” Bill looked at him with pleading eyes which already had tears slowly pouring out of them. Stanley wanted to wipe those away. So he did. He moved closer to Bill and gently wiped his cheeks. Some people would say they were too close for comfort but not them. Stanley’s eyes lingered on Bill’s lips for only a second before he closed the gap between them.

The kiss was sloppy, sure, but it was also magickal and incredible. They pulled away and smiled at each other.

“Why’d you do that” Bill looked Stan directly in his eyes.

“Because I like you as well” Stanley smiled even wider.

“Fuck what time is it” Bill looked at the other boy with wide eyes.

“Probably time we head back to you place” Stan took his bag and Bill’s hand and they walked to the Denbrough residence in silence.


	2. No Lies, Just Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically they see and meet richie and his family for the first time x  
oh also stan and bill ❤️❤️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helllloooo!!  
i’m back with the second chapter  
i hope you all enjoy it and yeah it’s kinda short but i personally really like it 
> 
> also thank you all so much for the response on the first chapter i love u all ❤️❤️

“hey” stanley started nervously once they came into the bathroom and sat in the tub.

“hi” bill replied, equally as nervous. he couldn’t help but notice they were still holding hands. 

“listen, bill i’m really sorry for being a jerk sometimes, it’s supposed to be a joke, i didn’t mean to hurt your feelings” stan looked down at their joined hands and pulled his away in a hurry.

“it’s okay, and i’m sorry too” they were both looking down “hey stan?” 

“yeah?” he looked up to find bill staring at his lips. he smiled.

“can i kiss you?” and then their lips were joined as they smiled into their first kiss.

“didn’t you say pda grosses you out?” bill whispered when they parted.

“are we in public?” they both eyed the door and laughed “of course we are” 

“i love you” bill smiled and took stanley’s hand.

“i love you too” and then a bunch of ‘aws’ came from the other side of the door so they decided to come out.

and when they did everyone just hugged. it was what they did when beverly and ben got together so it only felt right to do it this time as well. 

“okay, that’s enough” stan said after a minute of hugging and everyone broke out in laughter.

suddenly light washed over them from the bathroom. headlights. they ran to the window to see who had come home, but to their surprise, an unknown car was parking into, what was once, the ripsom’s household. 

“who is that?” beverly broke the silence and moved away from the window to stare at the confused boys. 

“no idea” came from bill, who turned to look at the redhead “someone probably just got the wrong address” 

“i don’t think so bill” eddie said with certainty in his voice “a moving truck just parked next to the car” 

“someone new’s in town” stan quietly mumbled, just loud enough so that everyone heard him.

eddie muttered a “fuck” while everyone else just looked confused. 

“i think it’ll be nice, if it’s even a kid” ben reasoned, like always.

“yeah it is” mike stated, being the only one left by the window “and he’s our age i think” 

“well isn’t that just fantastic boys?” beverly cheered and threw her arms up “maybe there’s a seventh loser just waiting to find us” 

“stop it, no one else is joining” eddie remarked and looked out the window. he saw a tall, dark haired boy with bulky glasses and he smiled to himself. he was beautiful, the boy. 

“eddie?” mike shook his arm and brought him out of his gaze.

“yeah?” he looked at mike with questioning eyes.

“got a crush on him already eddie?” beverly chimed in, pushing mike aside and leaning on the wall. 

“no, i don’t even know him” he was sure he looked identical to a tomato but he still decided to proceed “but he is beautiful isn’t he?” beverly peeked out the window to confirm eddie’s statement with a nod.

“let me see” bill pleaded and pushed eddie out of the way “oh wow, yeah he’s gorgeous” he said with a mocking undertone and beverly rolled her eyes at him “and he’s looking at us” bill waved his arm.

“oh shit, run” beverly said and zoomed out of the bathroom and into bill’s room. everyone followed.

the moment mike slammed the door shut they started laughing like crazy people until the doorbell rang and their eyes widened. 

they ran down the stairs and to the front door where bill opened it. there was a woman and, what they assumed, was her husband and then the boy.

“well hello kids, are your parents home?” bill shook his head, along with ben and stan.

“oh, well, um, i’m your new neighbour, maggie tozier, this is my husband wentworth and that there is our son richard” she pointed to the boy, now a few feet behind, smoking a cigarette. 

“welcome to derry, mr. and mrs. tozier, i hope you like it here” bill put on a forced smile and the woman smiled back. the boy, richard, was looking, no, staring at eddie and beverly pulled him out of view.

“he is totally eyeing you right now eddie” she grinned shaking his shoulders.

“no he is not” his face felt like it was on fire “shut up” he hid in his arms.

“eddie! don’t tell me he wasn’t staring at you just now” she said in a tone that deflected something like “you are so clueless it’s adorable”.

“maybe he was stunned at my fannypacks” he pointed to the two around his waist. he brought a lot of supplies for just about any situation.

“maybe, but i know he wasn’t” eddie rolled his eyes at his friend and walked off to the others, who were just saying goodbye to the tozier’s.

“i didn’t like the way richard was staring at eddie” stanley commented and beverly gave eddie a shove, as if proving a point.

“he was not!” eddie exclaimed, shocking everybody, especially stan.

“calm down eddie” bill put his hand on eddie’s shoulder and then they all started laughing again.

they were about to turn around to go back upstairs when the doorbell rang again. they all turned back and bill answered, once again.

“hell-“ bill cut off at the sight of the beautiful boy at his doorstep.

“why hello, dear neighbour, may i speak to the little one?” richard was showing off his teeth in a smile so wide it almost reached his ears.

“uh” bill couldn’t say anything, completely stunned at the brightness of the new boy.

“absolutely not” stan spoke up “what, you think you can show up and talk to my best friend, also i’m not quite sure he likes you, seeming he ran up the stairs when he saw you” the boy was stunned, as a matter of fact, everyone was stunned that, the usually calm and collected stanley snapped on a kid he didn’t even know.

“now back off moron” he added as he slammed the door in richard’s face.

“what the hell was that stan?” mike asked, shock in his voice.

“i don’t like him” stan was back to his old self “he seems like a heartbreaker, cheater kinda guy to me” he continued with his now, completely calm voice.

“thank you, stanley” eddie’s voice caused all the others to whip their heads towards the stairs “that was nice of you to do” he smiled.

“see, i knew eddie didn’t want to talk to him” stanley seemed proud of his actions. the others, not so much.

“i think he’s nice” beverly said and then they just moved on and went to watch grease.

……………………………………….

everyone was asleep when eddie suddenly awoke from a nightmare. he went to grab some water and then to wash his face in the upstairs bathroom. and yes, he did go upstairs because he wanted to see if the boy across the street was still awake. and he was. he was sitting on his window sill, smoking a cigarette and, even though eddie found the act itself disgusting, richard looked damn hot doing it.

eddie found himself leaning on his elbow, chin in his palm, smiling at the boy. he was even prettier now, in the moonlight and eddie truly felt like he was in a movie. 

a loud clap broke him out of his thoughts and he looked behind him to find a grinning beverly standing in the doorway. 

“i would bet a million dollars you were staring at that boy” she ran to the window and her grin widened “i knew it” she looked at eddie, who was blushing.

“i was not staring at him! i was washing my face” he deemed that was a reasonable explanation but beverly, apparently did not.

“come on eddie, there’s nothing to be ashamed of, i think he’s cute too” beverly looked at him, reassuringly and they smiled at each other. 

then eddie’s eyes travelled back to the boy that was now staring at them. his eyes widened as he said a loud “fuck” while laughing uncontrollably, beverly joining him.

“i love you bevvie, and thank you” he hugged her, making sure he was looking at richard the whole time he did. and richard stared right back. 

“i love you too” she said and hugged him tighter, before letting go and stealing one last glance at the smoking boy before going back down to sleep. 

“goodnight eddie” she said, getting comfortable in her makeshift ‘bed’ on the floor.

“night bev” he said and moments later he was asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you liked it ❤️  
comments, including criticism are welcome and appreciated


	3. Take it Easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically beverly and stanley talk to richie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heeeelllloooo!!  
it’s me, i’m back, sooner than expected!   
i hope you enjoy this chapter and i love ya’ll

“morning eddie” beverly yawned, shaking eddie so he’d wake up. and he did.

“morning bev” then he noticed they were the only ones awake “why are we up?” 

“we’re stalking the boy you dumbass” she smiled and grabbed his wrist, pulling him up from his place on the floor.

“what time is it?” he didn’t question the stalking part, yet.

“it’s like 8:15” she looked at her plain wrist pretending to check the time “i heard something and woke up, come on let’s go look” she sounded too excited for what they were about to do, but eddie just went along with it and ran up the stairs after her.

“ooh, he’s smoking again” she was looking out of the window when eddie joined her. the boy was indeed, smoking on his window sill, just like last night.

“i’m going to get changed, you just... observe on” she grinned at eddie, who wasn’t even hearing her words anymore. he was lost in the boy across the street.

eddie didn’t know why he felt like there was this connection between him and richard but he did. the boy was beautiful, hence the nickname - beautiful boy.

“i’m back” beverly said in her new outfit - grey sweatpants and a plain t-shirt. it was a work day for bill’s parents so the losers planned a movie marathon of all their favourite films. that’s why beverly was dressed in her ‘comfort clothing’ as she called it.

eddie was still lost in his gaze and beverly needed to shake him to get him out of it.

“what is it?” he said, looking annoyed at his friend for ‘waking him up’.

“i wanna see, move over” eddie moved a bit to the left so beverly could also observe the beautiful boy.

“he’s staring at us eddie” beverly said after a few minutes of silence passed.

“yeah he’s been staring for a while” eddie answered in a whisper so bev could barely hear him.

“really? oh he’s going away now” the boy was packing his things - the cigarettes and his walkman - and closing the window.

“yeah, guess we better go downstairs” and so they did. nobody was awake yet and eddie was glad.

then there was a knock on the door, actually there were five knocks and they sounded almost like a melody. beverly and eddie went to open it and there he was, the beautiful boy by the name of richard.

“hello neighbours, i noticed you staring at me quite intensely and i’m wondering if you’re planing my murder or something” eddie flinched at the word ‘murder’ and so did bev “or if there was another reason” the boy finished.

“hello to you too, richard” beverly began and eddie walked off to get some water from the fridge. 

“it’s richie... and you are?” he put his palm out and tilted his head.

“i’m beverly, nice to meet ya” she shook his hand with great force and the boy seemed shocked.

“that’s one firm grip you got there bevvie, what’s the little one’s name?” richie almost whispered the last part of the sentence, so eddie wouldn’t hear him.

“his name’s eddie” beverly responded with a huge grin “wanna go outside for a smoke and we can talk more?” she asked, pulling out her cigarettes from the back pocket of her sweatpants.

“so who are the other’s?” was his first question when they sat on the front porch of the denbrough house and smoked.

“the one who opened the door last night is bill, he lives in this house; the one who snapped at you is stanley or stan the man and he’s bill’s boyfriend” richie seemed surprised at the statement “the chubby one is my boyfriend ben, a real cutie; the tall dark and handsome is mike and he’s the sweetest of us; the little one is eddie, who is so adorable but he’s really sensitive about some shit - to be honest we all are; and i’m beverly, i moved to portland in 1989 ‘couse of some fucked up shit but i come here every summer to hang with the other losers” she finished and took another drag of her cigarette.

“wow those were the most vague descriptions i’ve ever heard but thanks for explaining” richie smiled and beverly punched his arm.

“what’s with eds? why does he avoid me?” he continued after grabbing another cig.

“he just doesn’t like new people that’s all” she assured him and yes, it was true that eddie didn’t like new people but that wasn’t the whole reason he was avoiding richie “and don’t call him eds he will end you” beverly laughed at the memory of someone at school calling eddie eds and him snapping at the guy, to a point mike and stan had to hold him back. 

the door opened just then and eddie poked his head out, not even acknowledging richie.

“beverly i woke everyone up and we’re about to start watching dirty dancing without you if you don’t get your ass in here” he slammed the door and beverly got up, laughing as she did.

“bye richie, see you around” she was almost at the door when he grabbed her by her wrist. she jerked away but smiled at him none the less.

“hold on bevvie, where does eddie live?” beverly grinned and told him his address and that he can only come from 8-5 because his mother is at work then. he thanked her and then they went their separate ways.

inside, beverly told everyone what a funny and nice guy richie really was and that stanley’s assumptions were wrong. stanley did not agree, whatsoever. 

“you talk to him once for like 5 minutes and all of a sudden you know his entire personality. that does not sound good enough for me to believe he’s a nice human being” beverly rolled her eyes at that and crossed her arms.

“listen stan, i don’t give a fuck about your opinion on the boy when you’ve never even met him” she defended and stan looked like he was at his boiling point.

“actually, i have and while you might think he’s just a nice guy i see through those eyes and i observe his body language because my fucking hobby is fucking observing birds!” he screamed and all of the people in the room seemed taken aback by this sudden change in stanley’s personality.

“stanley what’s going on with you lately?” beverly asked in a calm and collected voice, not wanting to set off stan again.

“nothing i just need some air” he walked out of the house and sat on the stairs of the front porch. he didn’t know why he snapped at his friends. he felt like he had lost control of all his anger.

“hey” a voice came from his left side. when he looked up he saw richie standing a few feet away from him with a concerned look on his face.

“just the person i wanted to see” stanley crudely remarked and laughed at his own joke or perhaps he was laughing at himself for being so stupid lately.

“is everything alright? i heard screaming” richie sat beside stanley, making him stand up and go for the door “stop” richie said and grabbed a hold of stan’s wrist, just like he did beverly’s mere minutes ago. but stanley didn’t jerk away. he looked at richard for a second and then sat back down on the porch stairs. 

“why did you come back here yesterday?” stanley asked just as richie was about to say something.

“i wanted to talk to eds” richie smiled at the thought of eddie’s beautiful freckles and brown hair.

“how do you know his name?” stan said, getting madder at beverly by the second.

“beverly told me about you all when we talked” stan looked pissed and richie noticed “oh, was she not supposed to?” and then stanley got up but richard, once again took a hold of his wrist and pulled him back down.

“no she wasn’t supposed to... what did she say about us?” stan looked less furious, like the anger just shut off or something.

“she said you and bill are a thing and that her and ben are a thing and that she lives in portland and then she said mike was the sweetest and then she told me about eds” he smiled again when he said eds.

“she told you about me and bill? i can’t believe her. should i go around saying her and bill were a thing now and make benny boy all uncomfortable?” stan was looking at the floor, indicating that he was talking more to himself than richie. 

“billy and bevvie were a thing? seriously? and they’re still friends?” richie looked confused and he looked at stan for answers. he noticed how he looked to the floor at the nickname richie gave bill.

“yeah, beverly helped him realise he was gay, also don’t call him billy, you’d upset him” stanley said and richie was surprised that the stan he met last night was nowhere to be seen now. he just seemed sweet.

“why?” richie asked, wanting to find out more about the friend group, who called themselves the losers.

“it’s a long story” stan whispered “anyway, it’s actually been sort of decent talking to you richie, i’ll see you around” and then he was gone. back inside with his best friends, watching dirty dancing and having fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyyy!  
i hope you liked the third chapter!   
also if you didn’t know the chapter titles and the story title are songs by one of my favourite bands bright eyes.  
also also stan may or may not have IED (Intermittent explosive disorder) but i could just be speculating   
anyway i hope you’re enjoying the story and comments, including criticism are welcome and appreciated ❤️ love ya’ll bye


	4. At the Bottom of Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> richie gets jealous and jumps to conclusions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY !!!  
it’s been a hot minute (but not that hot) but i’m back. i’ve had this chapter written for a week but i didn’t know if i should post it. but it has been too long and i don’t wanna disappoint you

“dinner is ready honey” mrs. tozier yelled across their new house to her ‘rebel’ son, as she called him in front of her lady friends.

“coming” he screamed back and then ran down the stairs. 

“how was it at the denbrough’s house earlier?” his mother asked when he sat beside her at the dining table.

“it was fine, i talked to beverly and stanley on their front porch” he rolled his eyes. he knew why they moved. he knew it wasn’t because his father got a brand new job. but he didn’t say anything. 

“that’s great sweetie” his mother said when she finished sipping her wine. she prepared some meatloaf and it wasn’t very good. richie didn’t tell her though, he just ate and smiled when she looked at him. 

when he finished he went upstairs, but just as he was about to open his bedroom door he heard a knock at the front door. he assumed his mother would go to open it but he realised it was someone for him so he ran back down and to the door. he opened it and there was beverly with a big grin on her face and pulling out her cigarettes and a lighter as if inviting richie to go for a smoke.

“okay then” he closed the door behind him and sat on the porch. 

“listen, i got eddie’s number” she smiled and pulled out a slip of paper out of her pocket, then passed it to richie. he unfolded it and there it was, eddie’s phone number.

“how the hell did you get him to do that?” richie mumbled to her with a confused look on his face.

“it wasn’t that hard, i just said i lost my number book and he gave me his digits” she smiled at the beautiful boy and he smiled right back. 

“listen, would you maybe know if he likes me, even a little bit?” he whispered. this wasn’t like him. he usually didn’t ask these kinds of questions. he usually didn’t speak to new people. but it was all for eddie. he loved eddie and he hadn’t even talked to him. 

“he does. but you listen to me right now. if you break his heart i am going to break all the bones in your body” she said, dead serious and then smiled again. 

“where is he now?” richie asked and beverly smiled even wider. she thought for a second and then spoke.

“he’s on his way home. it’s only four so even if you don’t catch him walking you can still catch him at his place, but just for safety climb through the window like JD in Heathers” she smiled again and he stood up. she reached her arms up for him to pull her up and he did. she hugged him tight and then went back to bill’s house.

richie ran in the direction of eddie’s house and in a few minutes he saw eddie. and then he saw another boy’s back who was walking to eds.

“who the fuck is that? it’s not one of the losers” he whispered to himself and then continued observing the boys.

they were hugging and eddie was laughing. beverly didn’t mention a boyfriend. she set him up. wow. and he really thought these people were different than the ones in his old town.

“fuck” he whispered and ran back to his house. 

……………………………………….

“what the hell?” beverly whispered to herself when she heard a loud knock on her window at midnight. the boys never did this so it definitely wasn’t one of them.

she went to look and there was richie, cigarettes in hand and blotchy eyes.

“oh good god” she whispered and opened the window so richie. could climb into the denbrough’s guest room. 

“what the fuck are you doing here? it’s midnight rich” she whisper shouted at the beautiful boy sitting on her bed. 

“i don’t fucking know beverly. i went down the road in the direction of eddie’s house and i saw him" he was holding back tears, which was nothing like him. he usually didn’t cry because of a crush having a boyfriend “and he was with his boyfriend who you didn’t tell me about” beverly looked extremely confused.

“what are you talking about?” she sat beside him and crossed her legs. 

“he was hugging a boy and laughing with him. and it wasn’t one of you” he motioned to her with his hand.

“oh my god richie, that wasn’t his boyfriend. eddie hasn’t come out to anyone but his closest friends. and that boy was one of, if not _the_ closest. it wasconnor. he’s henry bowers’ cousin but don’t mention that to him or he’ll get really uncomfortable. now would you stop jumping to conclusions about eddie please” she explained with a soft voice and held richie’s hands in her own. 

“who’s henry bowers” and then beverly got really uncomfortable. and sad. and angry.

“he was the town bully. he picked on all of us but mostly eddie. called him the f word and all that bs. then he had to go to juvie” she looked at her knees and mumbled the words.

“why?” he looked at her with great wonder but she just kept on looking down and he thought he saw a tear but he wasn’t sure.

“not you business. now go to sleep richard” she pushed him to the window and he climbed out, knowing that if he didn’t she’d push him out. bev shut the window before even saying goodbye and went back to bad, trying to erase all the shit that happened today out of her mind just to be greeted with another nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!!   
i hope you liked it   
any comments, even criticism are welcome and appreciated


	5. We Are Nowhere and It’s Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically the losers + richie and conner hang out at the quarry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i know i said i wasn’t gonna update but i realised i had this chapter in my notes and i didn’t publish it. so here it is. also i kinda got my motivation back so i’ll probably be updating regularly again. no promises though.

“so conner, any new girls?” eddie teased the blonde boy sitting opposite of him on a rock. 

“yeah, a ton” conner laughed and clapped his hands together in amusement “how ‘bout you? any boys in sight” they asked each other this question each summer when conner came to derry.

“not really... except...” eddie looked at the starry sky and smiled at the thought of beautiful boy richie.

“except?” conner was sitting, elbows on knees and waiting for a continuation.

“i mean, a family moved into the ripsom’s old house and they have a really cute son... we call him beautiful boy but his name’s richie, richie tozier” eddie looked at conner when he finished and the blonde had a stupid grin spread across his face. eddie rolled his eyes at the expression.

“have you talked to him any?” he asked, the grin remaining on his face until he took a sip of his water.

“no, but bevvie and stan have. they say he’s nice, even though stanley still doesn’t trust him completely” eddie sighed and laid back on his picnic blanket.

“i mean, who does stanley trust?” conner laughed “i can’t wait to see them all tomorrow... possibly meet this beautiful boy of your’s?” eddie smiled at this. conner was his best friend, even the losers weren’t as close to him. 

“maybe” eddie smiled “we’ll all be here, at the quarry at eleven am” he said and then they talked for another 3 or 4 hours. eddie’s mother would be pissed if she knew her dear sweet boy was hanging with the delinquent conner at 3 am.

……………………………………….

“conner is a sweets, you’ll love him” beverly told richie on her roof with a cigarette dangling from her fingers. 

“can you tell me more?” richie asked and took another drag of his cigarette.

“‘course i can... him and eddie met each other 5 years ago right after... something and he was super kind, even though stan the man didn’t trust him one bit, again, he was henry bowers’ cousin. but eddie loved him from the start and they’ve been the bestest of friends since” beverly smiled at the thoughts and memories of the numerous times they’d had a blast with conner. 

“that’s... interesting” he smiled and put out his cig.

“sure is... now get up we need to leave or we’ll be late” and then they were off to the quarry.

……………………………………….

“hey con” beverly hugged him tight and kissed his cheek. 

“hey bevvie, how’s portland?” he asked, being his polite self.

“it’s great but derry’s still my one and only home” she smiled softly and hugged conner again. then she moved aside and richie stepped forward with his hand stretched out.

“hey, my name’s-“ and before he could finish the sentence conner did “richie, yeah eddie’s told me all about you beautiful boy” conner winked at eddie, who was turning wildly red “i’m conner, his best friend” he gave richie a pointed look “nice to meet you” then he was back to his softy smiley self.

“nice to meet you too connie” richie grinned and shook his hand wildly, making conner chuckle.

they all jumped into the water and eddie complained about all the diseases they could catch. tradition. just that this time there was another person involved. richie or, as you may recall - beautiful boy.

when they were drying off later bill and stan went off to somewhere. then beverly and ben. and then mike, leaving richie, conner and eddie alone. and then eddie left to go ‘check on the children’.

“so conner, what do you really think of me, now that no one is around?” richie smirked at the blonde sitting opposite to him.

“i think you’re a decent enough guy for my eddie” conner answered, dead serious “but if you ever hurt him, know that i will fly from new york right back to this town and beat your ass just like with-“ and then he stopped himself from spilling all the beans on eddie. 

“hey guys, i can’t find the others” he looked at conner, panicking, hands on his inhaler. 

conner whispered a “fuck” and ran to eddie to then envelope him in a tight bear hug. 

“don’t worry okay? it’s not here... it’s gone... let’s go find our friends yeah?” eddie nodded and they ran, forgetting about richie. 

they ran through the woods and finally found the others at the end. all together.

“what the hell guys? do you know how worried i was? don’t you ever go off like that without me again or i will literally kill you” eddie spoke, in a ringing voice so that all of them would hear. they all just looked at him with guilt and then hugged him. they stood there, hugging for a while but then a grumbling sound behind them disrupted the display of affection and 

they all turned around, quickly.

“howdy, cowboys. was getting kinda worried but now i’m not ‘nymore” it was richie doing a terrible country accent. 

“oh my god i’m so sorry richie i didn’t mean to run off like that i’m sorry” eddie was getting panicked again but conner calmed him down.

“it’s alright” richie smiled “are we going back there or what?” he pointed behind him, in the direction of the cliff. they nodded and ran through the dark forest straight to their belongings at the quarry. they talked for hours after, just like conner and eddie did the previous night. it was fun, there’s no denying that. 

“so eds” eddie shot a death glare at richie, who simply smirked “why do you carry that fanny around all the time?” eddie looked down at this. he looked hurt. or maybe embarrassed. possibly both.

“uh, i just keep some stuff in there, just if i need it you know, emergency kit and all that” eddie smiled at the beautiful boy and he smiled right back. 

“okay then” he said and got back to eating the snacks ben brought. 

“how about you richie? why’d you move here in the first place?” conner asked. it sounded a bit harsh but they all knew conner didn’t intend for that to happen. he was the nice guy.

“uh well my dad got a sparkly new job” richie said, sarcastically and throwing up some jazz hands “honestly i don’t even know why but it sure wasn’t that. my dad’s getting paid half the money he got back home” he shoved another handful of skittles into his mouth.

“sorry ‘bout that sweetie” beverly shot him an understanding look and a reassuring smile which he returned. 

“no worries, now that i’ve shared my greek tragedy of a life with you losers, i thought of a fantastic game to play - secrets and sins” he had a mischievous look on his face “it’s basically like truth or dare but with no dares. so we’ll go one by one choosing to share a secret or a sin” he looked at the kids in front of him and they were all interested in his game.

“hell yeah! let’s play! i’ll start” beverly shot her arm up as if to answer a question at school “i choose sin - i smoke way too much” she concluded with a cheeky smile and a wink. eddie gagged at the mention of smoking, as always.

“eds you’re up next” richie pointed at eddie with a stick he found on the ground. 

“okay first of all, that stick could give you so many diseases can you please for the love of god put it the fuck down” richie did as he was told and eddie threw him some hand sanitizer from his fanny pack “second of all, aren’t we going in the other direction?” he questioned but richie shook his head.

“no no no shorty, we’re going your direction, or you could chicken out and welcome the consequences” richie gave one of those ‘i’m the worst person alive and if you don’t do as told i will fuck you the fuck up’ looks, which he knew how to fake excellently.

“fine, fine. i’ll do secret” richie smirked at this. eddie’s mouth opened to talk but rich cut him off.

“oh i almost forgot, if you pick secret the person before you gets to ask you what they think will make you say the secret” richie was looking like he knew what he had just said made zero sense.

“okay. bev?” he looked at his red head friend and she looked back at him. 

“uhm, okay. soooo... why do you really still use your inhaler?” she’s wanted to ask him this for ages but she hadn’t built up the courage. ‘till now. 

“i told you all this before - old habits die hard” eddie smiled and looked down at the carrier of his placebo inhaler.

“come on eddie, none of us are buying that crap. but if you don’t wanna say, we can send rich away” she held his shoulder as she whispered.

“that would work, i think” he looked at richie with guilt but he simply couldn’t bare him knowing his bad secret.

“okay. rich you’re gonna need to leave us a bit. some stuff eddie doesn’t wanna share to you, our newest friend we’ve known for like a week” she smiled at him and explained everything so he would understand why eddie doesn’t feel comfortable yet, explaining all this to him.

“okay” and then he was gone, into the woods for a smoke.

“okay well, after all the shit at neibolt in 89 i thought i’d be fine and i wouldn’t need it but then there were just moments when someone would be wearing something red or someone had ginger hair and i just couldn’t breathe. so i went and got a refill. about the pills - when we went into neibolt that day i threw my fanny away. but i went back. and i got it, as i think you’ve figured by now” they were all understanding, even conner who didn’t have to live through the whole pennywise nightmare understood eddie’s struggles and was compassionate, as always.

“it’s okay eddie, we get it” beverly smiled at him with her angelic smile. she really was the best. she always understood everyone’s struggles and put them before her’s. it’s not right but it makes her feel warm inside.

“thanks guys” eddie smiled again at his wonderful friends then yelled “rich you can come back now” facing the woods. the lanky boy shuffled back to his seat and smiled at eddie.

“lovely seeing all of you again, shall we continue? ah yes, connie it seems as though it is your turn to choose” richie did a horrific british accent that they all laughed at. 

“sure rich, i pick secret” he smiled at eddie who began to think of his question. finally he looked like a light bulb lit up inside his head.

“okay con. so you remember when i was with you know who and you saw him at the arcade right?” conner nodded. he knew what was coming “what did you really say to him? and don’t give me the ‘nothing i just said he was a punk’ think because we all know that’s bullshit” eddie looked around at his friends, who were nodding their heads in conner’s direction.

“i see. well i can’t recall exactly what i said to him. but it was something along the lines of ‘get the fuck away from eddie you big dumb pudding’” conner laughed at his stupid insult and so did the rest. 

“wow, big dumb pudding? really con?” mike laughed and picked up another chip from the baggie.

“yeah i don’t know what the hell was wrong with me” conner continued laughing until richie loudly intertwined.

“okay stanley, you’re up” he pointed to him and squinted his eyes. needles to say stan was not impressed. 

“fine. i pick secret. i’m no sinner” he smiled and looked at conner with a bemused look.

“okay then stan the man. why are you never happy?” it may have been a joke to conner and everyone else, but to stan it was a real question. 

“i don’t know. maybe ‘couse ya’ll don’t even bother with me anymore. you don’t even say hi when i sit at the cafeteria table. you don’t even fucking acknowledge me in the halls” he was standing by then and he felt a sudden rage building inside of him. like he was about to explode and there was no way of holding it in but one. 

he ran and jumped off the cliff into the water. he was fine. he was cool. he was good and the rage was gone. most of it anyway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed this. kudos and all comment (criticisms included) are very much appreciated
> 
> love you all ❤️


	6. It's Cool, We Can Still Be Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of Secrets and sins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS to anyone who celebrates it!!  
i hope you're having a great time and i hope you enjoy this chapter!  
also i'm sorry this one is written with caps included

“What the fuck” Richie whispered under his breath just loud enough so that Eddie could hear him. The shorter boy looked up at Richie with confusion plastered on his face. Then it shifted to sadness and Richie’s heart sort of broke into a billion tiny pieces he didn’t know how to put back together.

“We don’t know what’s up with him either” Eddie spoke and Richie realised just then that that was the first time Eddie had talked to him, well, besides the secrets and sins game and even then he talked when Richie was out of sight.

“Stanley get your ass back up here” Eddie then yelled down at his best friend who was still in the water. He looked up at his worried pals and slowly made his way to the rocks and then back up to where the others were.

“Sorry guys, I didn’t wanna explode again” Stan was looking at his soaked white sneakers he didn’t have time to get off before jumping. The others hugged him and he hugged them back, while Richie stood there and observed the kind gesture. When they pulled back they all just sat back down to where they were seated before and continued the game.

“Bill it’s your turn now” Stanley turned to his boyfriend with a warm smile and tilted head. Bill smiled back.

“Okay then. I pick secret too. I would pick sin but there is literally nothing I’ve done that’s even remotely a sin” he laughed at his own joke, like Bill always did and looked at Stanley, who was already deep in thought.

Richie though it was a bit strange that they all just moved on like that. He thought back to his old friends, well, more like drinking buddies but that’s irrelevant, and imagined one of them jumping off a cliff. They’d probably laugh like hyenas, considering they would probably be drunk by then. That’s not to say Richie was an alcoholic, no, he only drank on special occasions, and even then he usually didn’t get THAT drunk.

“Stanley, you gotta think faster or we’ll all have to leave before you ask Billiam your question” Richie said, looking at his acquaintances, possible friends and laughing. Bill shot him a death stare and Richie didn’t quite know if it was for the nickname or for talking to Stanley.

“I can’t think of a good enough question to ask, would anyone else like to step up?” Stan looked at Richie first, but he just shook his head no and so did Eddie. It was almost like they were mirroring each other’s movements, like they were in sync.

“I got a good one!” Beverly suddenly exclaimed and stood up “Bill, did you ever really like me?” she looked at Bill and sat back down.

“Yes, I think I did, but not for long. And when I realised that I liked a boy” he looked at Stanley “I broke it off” he smiled at her and she smiled back.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa” Richie shot his head up at the kids in front of him. They all looked to him and seemed to realise he was out of the loop “you all mean to tell me that Bev and Bill were a thing? And you’re still like the bestest of friends?” he looked at them strangely, like he couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. Back home if you broke up with someone, you just didn’t talk anymore, you were practically strangers and for Richie that wasn’t hard, since he never really loved any of the girls he was dating.

“Yeah Rich” Beverly broke the silence first “we knew we weren’t going to work out so we just one night were like, ‘can we be just besties again’ and then Bill here came out and said ‘I think I’m like kinda sorta in love with Stanley’ so I was like fuck yeah we gotta get you two together then” she looked between the two boys who were smiling at her and then the whole group just exploded with giggles and soft laughter.

They went on like that, exchanging funny little stories and having great chucks along the way until about 2 am when they all grabbed their things and went their separate ways. Stan was staying with Bill that night and Beverly didn’t want to be involved in any fights that may or may not break out so she asked Eddie to stay at his place.

“I don’t know Bev, my ma still kinda ignores the whole gay thing so I don’t think she’ll let you stay, sorry” was his answer and Richie was stunned that Eddie was out to literally all his friends and family, when he wasn’t even really out to himself yet.

“Rich, how about you? Could I crash at yours tonight?” Richie looked up at her. She was walking next to him, in between himself and the small brunette boy.

“I think so, yeah. My parents don’t really care who I have over” he smiled and looked at his invisible watch “do your parents know you’re out so late Edward?” he smiled at the boy who was sifting through his fanny pack to find particular pills he thought he forgot at the quarry. His head shot up and his eyes met the taller boy’s at the mention of his full name.

“That is somehow even worse than Eds” he looked at the watch he actually had on his wrist “and yeah, I told my mom I’d be home at around two so it’s all good. I mean it’s never _actually_ good with my ma but she pretends it is” he looked at the pills that were now found on his hands and sighed, sadly. Beverly put her arm around his shoulders and for a moment Richie though about asking Eddie further questions but he decided against it.

“Bye guys” Mike and Ben said when they departed from the group and went their separate ways into the darkness of the Derry streets.

“See you all tomorrow” Eddie hugged all his remaining friends, besides Richie who he wasn’t close enough to.

“Wait, Eddie, I’ll walk with you. You know how your mom gets if you come alone” Conner followed Eddie and they walked, side by side like the best friends they were.

When the rest of the losers came to their shared street they said their goodbyes and went off in pairs. Richie and Beverly came in through the front door quietly, trying not to wake anyone. Turns out nobody was actually asleep in the house. His father’s shoes were not present and his mother walked in the minute the pair stepped through the door.

“Richard thank god I was so worried something had happened. Who’s this?” the middle aged woman, Beverly knew as Maggie from the day the family first moved in said.

“Hey mom, I told you I’d be late. Also this is my friend Beverly, is it okay if she sleeps over?” Maggie nodded and moved to the side. Her sleeve rolled down and Beverly noticed bruises all along her arm. She knew they weren’t made from bumping into things. She knew they were a job done to discipline her, as if she did something wrong. She knew this because a couple years back she had those same bruises staining her whole body. Bruises made by her father who had to find someone to blame for the tragic death of his beloved wife. That someone just so happened to be his own daughter. Beverly Marsh. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyy i hope you enjoyed this!  
any comments, especially criticisms are welcome and appreciated  
love you all and thank you!

**Author's Note:**

> hello!  
i hope you enjoyed this chapter and the next one’ll come soon 
> 
> kudos and any comments, including criticism are welcome and very much appreciated


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